12 mart 2002

pano:

bu hafta arkeolojik değeri olan bir metinle karşınızdayız sevgili okurlar. sene 1984; ben lise ikideyim, oturup ingilizce bir öykü yazmışım. sonra bunu, okulda çıkarttığımız "objective" dergisinin ilk sayısına vermişi. aynı sayıda, derin terzioğlu'nun da "pencere" başlıklı bir yazısı var, ama birbiriyle ilgisiz, birbirinden habersiz yazılar bunlar. bu arada o kadar amatör ve acemiyiz ki, dergiye tarih atmayı unuttuğumuz gibi, kapakta adını bile yanlış yazmışız, "obcective" olmuş. yiğitliğe bok sürdürmemek için sonraki sayılarda da derginin adını farklı farklı şekillerde yazarak, bunun amerikan emperyalizmine karşı bir "tavır" olarak algılanmasını sağladığımızı belirtmek gerek!

öykünün sansürlenerek yayımlandığını da anımsıyorum: bir yerinde "balls" geçiyordu, üstelik bunlar kıllıydı da. okul yönetimi "oha" demiş ve "balls" gitmiş, yerine "chest" gelmişti. burada bu müdahaleyi sıfırlama fırsatını bana veren trt'ye teşekkürü bir borç bilirim.

dediğim gibi, matah bir öykü sayılmaz, ama arkeolojik olarak ilginç yanları var sanki. Köpeğin adının Kurt olması çok şirin tabii.

şefin salatası:

the window:

Mehmet closed the door and went in. The small apartment smelled of dust and burnt cabbage, but he did not open the window looking onto the street because the street stank with factory fumes, and the window in the back had his neighbor for a view. A big, hairy man who went around naked in his house and swore at him whenever he got a chance. Mehmet did not like that. “I did that hairball of a man no harm,” he often reminded himself, “why does he behave the way he does? I may not be perfect, I’m not, but I’m a good-willed, pleasant-humored man, ask anyone and they’ll tell you so, the grocer for example, I always pay cash when I buy something and I thank him even when he gives me rotten apples. Maybe I don’t have a job or a steady income, that’s true, but that’s only temporary, everyone’s looking for an honest man these days and I’ll get a good, decent job by the end of this month. I have a son and he is one of the best engineers the government has got and he sends me some money. He’s a fine boy, isn’t he, Kurt?”

An old, gray dog lay on the broken sofa; its hair had grown thin in most places, and it appeared to have only patches of stiff, gray hair –once a nostalgic black- here and there on its skin. The patches could not hide the red sores. The dog seemed too tired to give any kind of a response to its master. The spider in the upper right corner of the room yawned.

“I tell you Kurt, that boy he’s going to rise and the government can’t afford to lose him because he’s so good at what he’s doing so they’ll pay him more and more because do you think the big companies don’t want him? Oh no my boy all the big birds are after my son with offers as big as anything.”

The smell of cabbage in the room was unendurable. “That’s what you get if you eat cabbage for a month though I’m not complaining, no. Cabbage is very good for you, everyone knows that, and I like its taste so much, you do, too, I know, plus I get apples from the grocer every now and then though he gives me rotten ones but who cares. The grocer likes me, he said I’m an honest man and he told me he liked me because I've been a hard-working man all my life. Yes, that’s what he said. An honest man all over. People around here know me, they respect me Kurt, and they all envy me because I have such a brilliant son... Oh, I think I’ll open a window.”

A roach was twisting its antennae, walking and now stopping on the windowsill over the street. Mehmet avoided getting involved with roaches; the apartment was full of them. He went to the other window. Opposite to it, about two meters away, was his neighbor’s. Not wanting to confront him, Mehmet hid behind the curtain and tried to see if the man was there, then decided to take a chance and opened the window. The big, fat man with hair sprouting from his shoulders, chest and crotch was standing right in front of him. He scratched his balls and said something Mehmet did not understand. Mehmet quickly turned around and went back to the sofa.

“Kurt, that man’s out there again. I don’t like him going around naked, it’s unrespectable to say the least, I feel that man hates me Kurt he hates us both and I’m not exaggerating you probably think I am but I’m not and I’m not panicking either. I don’t knw why he is like that I could even try to become good neighbors with him if he had some manners. You should have seen how wickedly he grinned, Kurt, you should have seen it and believe that I’m not overdoing it, it sent chills down my spine. What does he do for a living anyway he must be dangerous man I’m sure he is and how can one be sure that he’s got a respectable job? If they’d ask me I wouldn’t swear my name on it. I will ask the landlord about him you bet I will. Why is he always there when I open the window what does he want do you think? A decent man doesn’t go around naked, and he doesn’t stare into his neighbor’s room.”

With this, Mehmet went to the window again, peeking from behind the curtain torn in places.

“Do you think I don’t see you when you’re hiding there?” the hairy man shouted. The spider caught a fly on the man’s hairy chest. “Go ask your stupid son and your stupid grocer about me then. I said GO!” Mehmet, holding his breath, drew away from the window.

“I’m an old man,” he said, “I can’t fight with someone like him. He must be absolutely mad.” He came to the sofa and dropped himself down beside Kurt. “The grocer knows I’m a good man I’m an honest man all the people here know that and soon very soon I’ll find a small decent job and I won’t be a burden on my son anymore he’s working so hard and he needs the money and the government needs him so much with the money I’ll earn I’ll buy you biscuits you used to love biscuits I’m sure you still do.” His eyes fixed on the window, Mehmet took the dog –dead for two days- in his arms.