19
şubat 2002
pano:
7'nin
ingilizce versiyonunu merak eden
vardır belki. okuma
malzemesinde.
bu
hafta ingiliz salatası var.
neden diye sormayın, öyle.
şefin
salatası:
like
a plate of cool cherries
the
things we do with our lives. time
passes, then passes again. we
plan, scheme, foresee, intuit,
and then go back to square one,
with apparent impunity.
regardless of our schemes,
however, events have a mind and a
will of their own. free will, as
a guiding concept, is sine qua
non for human existence, but it
is necessary to temper it with
the will of events. all this is
to say that sometimes we choose,
and sometimes we just think we
do. sometimes it is better to
drift than to oppose. the problem
is: when.
i
am there. sometimes you are there
as well.
so
much energy goes into trying to
figure out pros and cons, and to
weigh them against each other.
after a certain point, however,
these calculations are no better
than taking a chance. even gut
feeling is of no help then,
because contradictory feelings
constitute the essence of guts.
so
many things there are, that are
so important. then time passes,
then passes again, and most of
those things, suddenly losing
their gravity, start to float.
chances, however, have this
annoying habit: they do not wait.
the problem is: we do not always
know what the chances are.
i
feel this. sometimesi think you
do, too. the moment passes.
do
you know what it is like to be
silent all the way, while
millions of footnotes wait to be
uttered, footnotes to this
loneliness that is total and
waits all around, working us into
frames, pulling us down to the
depths of mazes.
your
voice comes through in the middle
of the night. i remember the
shyness of your smile. all i can
do is to hope for your eyes.
i
listen to the peels of the time
that has passed, to the smoke
coming up and standing still in
the air. what goes up must come
down. what comes down may, in all
probability, stay down.
i
hear the voices of lost souls, in
search of my point.
i
would like to live like a plate
of cool cherries.
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